I have a confession to make. Are you ready? OK.... Shortly after I found out I was going to have surgery, I was offered a job, a good one, no....a great one! The wage was decent, the benefits excellent AND it's a union job. Union jobs are hard to come by these days, especially in my field. I was so happy! I figured, I'll postpone my surgery for a month or two, then just drop my mini-bomb on them and say, "Um, I need surgery." It would be fully covered and that would be that. When I told the Italian about my little devious scheme, he told me I must have some long lost relatives from Naples. I must be a Napolitana. Ha!
I decided I would sleep on it because I'm really not the sneaky type. It's just that it took me 2 solid months to get this job. I didn't want to lose it because of Shrek. Ironically, I couldn't sleep that night. I couldn't do it. That would be completely dishonest and these people were really nice to me. Plus, I began to think about the fact that there could be a pre-existing condition clause on the medical insurance, etc etc and if they ever found out, although it's a union job, I could get fired. Not to mention the fact that Shrek was labeled a dermoid cyst, but was it really?? Could it be cancerous and potentially spreading?? My gut told me, get this thing out and fast. So that was it, I called the job the next morning, told them I needed to have surgery and that it would take anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks to recover, because at that point, we didn't know if they would need to cut me completely open. In fact, that was decided for me when I was laid out on an operating room table on some serious anesthesia. BJ, the woman who offered me the job, was pretty understanding although she made it pretty clear that they needed someone to start like now. She said they would get a temp in there and try to wait for me, but she made no promises. Understandable.
Surgery day was on August 27th. The Italian had me at the hospital at 5:30 am sharp. My surgery was scheduled for 7:30 am. When they took me back to the short stay, they had me put on the little drafty gown and cute little socks. I had to take the "You say you're not pregnant but..." pee-pee test and then they put these really cool contraptions on my calves to prevent me from getting deep vein thrombosis during surgery. They took more blood and my nurse put the IV in my arm. Can I just tell you, that freakin' hurt!! I still have quite the colorful bruise from it. I have a latex allergy so there were signs everywhere, "Latex free environment", even on my gurney. In between the visits from 1,001 Dr.'s, Residents, Interns, Phlebotomists and Nurses, (Shrek was going to make it's big debut and was already considered a star!) the Italian would caress my hair and cheek and kiss my hand. He was so sweet and supportive, and it didn't go unnoticed!! More on that later..... Then I got a visit from the Anesthesiologist. I can't for the life of me remember his name, but for all intents and purposes, we'll call him Dr. Feelgood. He was a cool looking dude. He looked so California, which is cool since I am a Californian. He had a tan like George Hamilton. I hope it was a Mystic Tan..hello, skin cancer!
So my time came. The nurse came in and asked us if we gave each other the obligatory deluging of kisses. We more than willingly obliged and off I went. As they wheeled me past the big doors and into the surgery hallway I had to smile. There were street signs on the walls that said, "Rodeo Drive", "Beverly Hills". How did they know I'm a shopaholic and a "fashion victim", according to the Italian?? Dr. K came in and reiterated the whole procedure to me and she held my hand, aw, so sweet! Dr. Feelgood came in and hooked-me up, literally. Apparently one of my medical team of Dr's wrote about the Italian in my chart because he was the subject of conversation before I knocked out. They asked me what the Italian and I had been up to and I told them we had stayed in Cannon Beach for 4 days, Seattle for 2, Vancouver for 1 and Victoria for 2. We hiked the Gorge and went to a lot of Portland events. Dr. Feelgood told me there is a little coffee shop owned by an Italian in Cannon Beach and they make a mean espresso. We'll have to check it out next time. Next thing I know, I'm feeling floaty. I said " I'm dizzy" and Dr. Feelgood said, "Yep". My eye lids felt like they weighed 100 lbs each. Two blinks and I was out.